Anxiety. It's hard to avoid it in the college search process. With an ever-changing landscape and countless possibilities, it's no wonder why embarking on this road can be overwhelming and anxiety-producing. It is a life-determining decision with a big price tag and significant, long-lasting, implications for you or your children. Add to these monumental pressures the erroneously perceived identity, status, and worth that gets tied to where a student gets accepted and chooses to attend. In my experience, there are few things that can produce this much anxiety for 18-year-olds and their families.
How are students and families supposed to cope with this? Having worked in admissions and college counseling for over a decade, let me offer you three tips to decrease anxiety during this process.
Realize that the College Search Process is just that—a process. It takes time for a student to figure out what they are looking for in a college. It takes time for a student to find the colleges that fit those criteria. It takes time to make a few college visits to determine if that is really what a student wants in a college. It also takes time and planning to develop an activities list, add an extra course to your transcript, write essays, secure letters of recommendation, and actually submit the application. You get the idea. It takes time.
Because it takes time, it's important to start early. Students who are exposed to college campuses early in their high school years will have a better idea of what they are looking for in a school. Students who can start to explore what they want to do when they get older by job shadowing or taking self-assessments might know what academic programs they are looking for. Starting as early, as a freshman or sophomore, decreases anxiety in the process and allows for clarity and confidence as they approach senior year.
Finally, remember that the students hold most of the power. Many students fret about getting accepted to college. However, students hold most of the power in the ping pong match. They get to serve by choosing the schools they want to apply to and while the college chooses who to accept and who not to, the final swing is given to the students. Colleges know that if they admit a student, that student has a choice whether to say yes back to them. Of course, it varies from college to college, but the majority of colleges hear “no” more than they hear “yes.” Students hold the power, so take a deep breath and know that you’ll have options.
There is no way to relieve all of the stress involved in the college search process! However, it is important for parents and students to not make the process harder than it is. This three tips should make the journey lighter. Remember that it is (1) a process that takes time and thus is easier when you (2) start earlier, and that ultimately, (3) the student has the power over their future educational home.
Author: Christy Statema
Christy is our in-house College Counselor. She has a knack for providing a perfect balance of college expertise with mentorship and encouragement for the families she supports.